Cast (in order of appearance): Clerk, [Cash Register], Customer
- [Again with this?]
- Customer: [Tats by Coop] Right, mate, I need the new Lady Gaga album.
- Clerk: [Lady Gag Gag] No, you don't.
- Customer: Why?
- Clerk: [There are many reasons] Because it's overrated, dude. [She is a monster though] There's no substance there, just flash.
- Customer: [Joker face] But the songs are so catchy, mate. [So's the plague] They're in my brain!
- Clerk: [At least something is] You know, whatever. Any corporate entity can write a catchy tune, [Catchy Tune Inc.] so I'm not really impressed. [Color me unimpressed] Besides, doesn't she sound kind of like the discarded dumpster baby of a hellish union between Cher and Madonna?
- Customer: [Explains manly features] Uh, you know, I can see that.
- Clerk: [I'd rather not see that] If it's something you like, dude... [Alejandro is a bitch] you know what, fine. I just like my music to have substance [Remember substance?] and not rely on constant costume changes [Except P.S.B.] and overprocessed, store-bought and company-approved sound schemes.
- Customer: [E.M.I. approved] You know, why must you wittle with everything everyone likes?
- Clerk: [It's fun] Dude, what else am I gonna do? Business is slow, [Buy!] kinda waiting on my Chinese food [Lo-Mein]... [coughs] Lady Gaga sucks. [Egg roll] Sucks [Wonton] Crap. [I wait 4 hour]