(Title screen appears)
(Warning screen appears)
Foamy: I'm really starting to hate documentaries. For all the shows I've watched over the years, the documentaries have stood out as glaring examples of rehashed nonsense. The majority of them have numerous interviews with contradicting "experts", bickering back and forth about a particular theory or event. All of this goes on and on with contribe reenactments, psuedo-documentations, and poorly-theorized assumptions, that ultimately leave us with no answers and no entertainment. Documentaries aside, apparently, shows about truckers driving around is now considered entertainment. So is fishing, cooking, eating, and home improvement. Are we all really this fucking stupid?! Stuff you should be doing in real life, but are just too lazy to do, has now become entertainment. People would sit and watch a TV marathon of some fat bastard traveling the world, eating. You are watching someone eat as a form of entertainment! You are watching people do their jobs, when you don't have one of your own, as a form of entertainment! You are watching people cook, while you microwave a Pop-Tart, as a form of entertainment!! And you know who I blame? The writers. Back in the day, all the television and film writers decided to go on strike because "they needed more money!" Little did they realize, or take into consideration, that the general public would watch anything! Soon, the media was filled with reality shows and web content, and the helm of writer was taken off by the producers and directors. Way to go, writers. You've rendered yourself useless, and in the process, you've allowed the general public to think of everyday chores as a form of entertainment! But it's not just the writers that I blame. The viewers themselves have a lot to answer for. You are the people that made Paris Hilton a celebrity! You are the people that made "Twilight" a phenomenon! You are the people that made colored rubber bands a trendy accessories! You are the ones consuming this crap. Stop watching crap! In part of who knows that this is a wasted rant. Most people have moved on to another video of some large-breasted woman jumping up and down or doing some exercise routine. It's what people want -- pretty things doing average things. We have reached the bottom of the barrel and are picking at the rotten apple. And in that spirit, here is a large-breasted woman eating a hot dog.
[cut to Germaine holding two hot dogs, licking and sucking on one]
Foamy: [sarcastically] Yeah, this is entertaning. Yep. Quality television. Change the background to India and we can put this on the Travel Channel. Losers! Support shows with imagination, creativity, and have at least one writer on staff! You fuckers! Ugh!
(The end screen appears)
Foamy: Losers!