Cast (in order of appearance): Clerk, [Cash Register], Heavy Makeup
- Heavy Makeup: [Break Dancing contest Tuesday] Hey, you have that limited edition [Easy on the eye liner] box set by the Smashing Pumpkins?
- Clerk: What, Teargarden by Kaleidyscope? [Worst title ever]
- Heavy Makeup: Yeah, that's it.
- Clerk: Nah, I don't carry that kind of crap here.
- Heavy Makeup: Why?
- Clerk: ['Cause it's crap] Dude, it's a four song box set. [4 songs? WTF?] "Four songs" and "box set" don't mix. [Like Corgan and Iha] Besides, I don't carry any music that comes packaged with a spiritual obelisk.
- Heavy Makeup: [Now with extra karma] But that's why I wanted it.
- Clerk: Here's a rock, go play.
- Heavy Makeup: [Rock 'n roll] What's your problem?
- Clerk: [Problems. Problems. Problems.] I'm just getting sick of all these musicians from the '90s all of a sudden pretending to find enlightenment, and then trying to push that on their fans. [Buy now and Corgan will save your soul] I listen to bands like Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Nine Inch Nails, and Smashing Pumpkins to hear angry, [Remember anger? That was cool] if not self-reflective music; not some God-awful 12-minute instrumental of pseudo-self-awareness [Spare me the musical ego trip] and/or inane political views spoken from the perspective of a hackneyed twit.
- Heavy Makeup: [Twit. Her. -->] That's harsh, dude.
- Clerk: [Not as harsh as your makeup] Dude, punishment should fit the crime. [The Penalty? Death!] These fuckers should step up or step the fuck down.
- Heavy Makeup: [Or step out...of the store] Do you know where I can get it then?
- Clerk: Somewhere else. [Try the internet]