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Kosher Crackers

"I swear it's true; with the Jewish cracker killings."

Episode 98

Pillz-E appears once again, this time instead of two diseases mixed up, two types of "crackers" mixed up.

Cast (in order of appearance): Pillz-E, Germaine

TranscriptEdit

Notice The content of the following transcription is rated at a level equal or similar to PG-13.

Profanity, violence, and/or sexual content may be found at low to moderate levels.

{The Warning screen appears.}

{Germaine and Pillz-E stand in the kitchen. A bagel with cream cheese is in front of Germaine, and Pillz-E munches loudly on a cracker.}

Germaine: What are you eating?

Pillz-E: I'm eating a matzo cracker. Jewish bread of the yummies.

Germaine: I've never had one of those. What's it taste like?

Pillz-E: A.... A little dry like a desert; of sandy mouth. With the crackle of potato chip in it. It.... It's also kosher.

Germaine: What's kosher?

Pillz-E: The.... The dryness of wafers is kosher. Oy....

Germaine: Yes, I know that. But what does kosher mean?

Pillz-E: I think it means that something is kosher... de... depending on how it was killed by the wringing hands of a god-fearing murderer.

Germaine: Eh?

Pillz-E: It means the crackers have to be killed a certain way.

Germaine: Don't be a jackass. Jewish people don't have to kill a cracker a certain way for it to be kosher.

Pillz-E: I swear it's true; with the Jewish cracker killings. They have to find the crackers, hunt them down, chase them around in the mysterious cracker jungle of Israel, and right then they bludgeon them {pulls a hammer out of nowhere and smashes the cracker simultaneously with "bludgeon"} with the hammers of cracker death.

Germaine: Where the hell do you find this shit?

Pillz-E: It's on the Internet. Crackerkillers.com.

Germaine: Mm-hm. Let us see. Shall we?

{The view fades to black, then fades from black to Germaine and Pillz-E sitting at Germaine's computer.}

Germaine: {while typing} www.crackerkillers.com. {pause} Hm. This has nothing to do with Kosher crackers. It's a black supremacy website who's statement of purpose is "To eliminate the white man and stop the jews from controlling the blacks through their zionist ways." Uh-huh.

Pillz-E: B... but look, it says right there. Lower-left-hand; bottom corner of virtual paper: "How to kill a cracker."

Germaine: {rolls eyes} Um... "cracker" is a racial slur to describe a white person. {pause} It's a link on how to kill white people.

Pillz-E: Wow! You mean black people can be racist? What a great country of cracker-killing freedom!

Germaine: You're not allowed to use my computer anymore.

Pillz-E: I... would like to destroy a banana.

Germaine: Aw, jeez. Migrane!

{The Ending screen appears.}

Pillz-E: Migrane in your brain is the pain of a sting in your head when you're dead with the brain gone boom. {squeals} Word to the wise.

Fun FactsEdit

ExplanationsEdit

  • Matzo is a Jewish food item made of plain flour and water and baked within eighteen minutes of being mixed into dough.
  • Kosher is the name of the Jewish dietary laws.
  • Zionism is a political movement and ideology that supports a homeland for the Jewish People in the Land of Israel, where the Jewish nation originated over 3200 years ago and where Jewish kingdoms and self-governing states existed at various times in history.
  • A cracker was originally a pejorative term for a white person, mainly used in the Southern United States.

RemarksEdit

Registrant:
iLL WiLL PrEss
United States

Registered through: GoDaddy.com
Domain Name: CRACKERKILLERS.COM
Created on: 02-Jul-05
Expires on: 02-Jul-10
Last Updated on: 02-Jul-05

Administrative Contact:
Mathers, Jonathan mathersj@mindspring.com
iLL WiLL PrEss
United States

Technical Contact:
Mathers, Jonathan mathersj@mindspring.com
iLL WiLL PrEss
United States

Domain servers in listed order:
PARK17.SECURESERVER.NET
PARK18.SECURESERVER.NET

[whois.crsnic.net]

Whois Server Version 2.0

Domain names in the .com and .net domains can now be registered with many different competing registrars. Go to http://www.internic.net for detailed information.

Domain Name: CRACKERKILLERS.COM
Registrar: GO DADDY SOFTWARE, INC.
Whois Server: whois.godaddy.com
Referral URL: http://registrar.godaddy.com
Name Server: PARK18.SECURESERVER.NET
Name Server: PARK17.SECURESERVER.NET
Status: REGISTRAR-LOCK
EPP Status: clientTransferProhibited
EPP Status: clientDeleteProhibited
EPP Status: clientRenewProhibited
EPP Status: clientUpdateProhibited
Updated Date: 10-Dec-2005
Creation Date: 02-Jul-2005
Expiration Date: 02-Jul-2010

External LinksEdit


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