Germaine: (typing at laptop) Dear Faceless Publishing House. I'm writing this letter to follow up on the one hundred and fifty-eight submissions I have sent you over the last few months. I do realize that, as the largest publishing company in the world, you may not have the time, nor the intelligence or taste to realise my greatness. This is sad and reflects poorly on your sense of judgement. For the last few months, your cold indifference has left me with no publishing contract, and more importantly, no money. Let it be on your heads that the roof over my head has been paid for with my limbs and flesh. Let it be on your heads that my food has been bought with images of my body bare. Let it be on your heads. With this being said, I would like to request that my work not be considered for publication by your company. I would rather slurp horse-cock than have my work defiled by the grubbing hands of your sexless editors. I would rather blow goats than have your insignificant newsprint bear the images of my text. I would rather get handjobs to elephants than have my thoughts regurgitated into the mouth of the world by the vile hands your people possess. Yes, I have developed such a disdain for your entity that I would rather engage in acts of beast-ality than have your unworthy eyes gaze upon my written musings. To prove this point, enclosed is a DVD movie of me actually giving an elephant a handjob while wearing a "I Hate Jandom Towels Publishing" t-shirt with matching thong. This movie -- along with several others -- have been posted on any and every website available. I hope my stands against your heartless practises deter simpler treatment of future potential writers. PS: suck my ass!"
Foamy: Is this the best you can come up with as a form of protest?
Germaine: At the time, yes. Besides, the whole elephant handjob thing has made me sort of a celebrity in Germany.
Germaine: They've been very supportive.
Foamy: Thanks, Germany. Thanks a lot, you sick fetish bastards! Everybody wash their hands and don't touch Germaine! Ew!