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Bra Bashing

"...tortuous garments of oppression."

Episode 89

Cast (in order of appearance): Germaine, Foamy, Anchovie

Transcript[]

Notice The content of the following transcription is rated at a level equal or similar to R.

Profanity, violence, and/or sexual content may be found at moderate to high levels.

{Germaine sits at her laptop, typing. Her breasts are barely being held into her shirt.}

Foamy: Dude! Why are your bras all over the room?

Germaine: {pounds on table angrily} 'Cause I'm fed up with them! I'm not wearing bras anymore.

Foamy: So why?

Germaine: They're man-made torture devices. All they do it cut off your circulation, make it difficult to breathe, and squeeze your tits together so guys can stare at your cleavage! I refuse to be encumbered by mans' tortuous garments of oppression!

Foamy: You know, I've noticed, any time you gain some weight, and you can't fit into your old clothes, your old clothes become {emphasizes each word with finger quotes} tortuous garments of oppression. Why is that?

Germaine: {lowly tone} My undies are always oppressing me.

Foamy: Yeah, okay. You just don't want to accept the fact that you're gaining weight. So you redirect your self-loathing on your clothes! It's quite sad, really.

Germaine: {defensive} Nuh-uh.

Foamy: Dude. Why don't you just buy some new clothes?

Germaine: {angrily} My clothes are fine! {unsure} I can still fit into them.

Foamy: Um, why are you wearing a thong?

{The view cuts to behind Germaine's computer, where her butt is visible.}

Germaine: It... It's not a thong.

Foamy: Well, then your ass has consumed another pair of underwear!

{The view cuts back to the front of Germaine's computer.}

Foamy: And, frankly, that shirt needs a little help, too.

Germaine: {angrily} It's fine.

Foamy: Dude! Your boobs are almost popping out of your... You know what? Never mind. I don't care. Every time I try to give advice, no one listens. Well fine. {cut to behind computer} Go about your life blindly, with your ass continuously eating your underwear, {cut to front of computer} while your tits pop out of your shirt every time you take a breath. God forbid you buy some new clothes that actually fit.

Germaine: {sadly} But I don't want to wear and extra-large.

{The view cuts to behind Germaine's computer.}

Foamy: Extra-large? Who are you kidding? Your ass is going for triple XL, my bloated friend.

{The view cuts back to the front of Germaine's computer.}

Germaine: Why can't I just stop eating all those really tasty junk foods?

Foamy: Because they're really tasty.

Germaine: {sarcastically} Thank you for your brilliant observation.

Foamy: Not at all. Here's another observation. {cut to back of computer} Your blubbery ass is devouring your chair!

{Anchovie peers in from the right with an awed look on his face.}

Germaine: You know, I don't appriciate your sarcasm.

Foamy: That's okay. Millions of viewers do. {ducks down}

{Germaine and Anchovie stare at each other.}

Anchovie: I'd just like to say I admire your... {looks at Germaine's butt} convictions.

Germaine: Fuck... you.

{The Ending screen appears.}

Anchovie: Rude.

Fun Facts[]

Remarks[]

  • Foamy broke the fourth wall by noting that "Millions of viewers do."

Easter Eggs[]

  • When the scene goes to behind Germaine, if you click the screen of her computer, you will be taken to taintedink.com

External Links[]


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