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Foamy: Folks, I'm sick and tired of half-assed Broadway musical producers bastardizing the genre by taking a bunch of popular rock songs and weaving some idiotically contrived story around them. Billy Joel, Bob Dylan, the Beatles, the Bee Gees, and the musical spawn of Satan, ABBA, do not need to be on Broadway. I know, Broadway hasn't seen a good play since Noises Off, but there is no need to ruin an entire back catalogue of a particular musician just to drum up some ticket sales. And you know must of these shows fold after a few weeks. Seriously. That Bob Dylan musical? That was, like, three days. And that's Bob Dylan. How can you fuck up Bob Dylan. IT'S BOB FUCKING DYLAN! I mean, if you take an impeccably perfect back catalogue like Bob Dylan and fuck it up, you suck beyond any worldly definition of the word. You have actually created, and are now on a whole new level of interdimensional suck. That's how much you suck. And then there's the movies that are made into Broadway shows: The Producers, The Wedding Singer, Evil Dead. I mean, EVIL DEAD?! Why not just make Caligula: The Musical? Here's what you do: get a bunch of castrated school boys, and have them sing the lyrics of various Marilyn Manson songs. And you know what? You cast Nathan Lane as Caligula. He seems to be all over fucking Broadway--put him to good use! And I know some of you laugh, but give it time. These no-talent hacks will eventually regurgitate the works of your favorite musician, mixing them with totally irrelevant storylines and plots, making an everlasting scar on your brain! It will happen, mark my squirrelly words. Only you can prevent Broadway musicals! Fucking vapid Broadway-producing fucknuts--STOP IT!

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