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TranscriptEdit

Foamy: You know what urks me? The way the media sort of... takes advantage of its audience. Like, you know when you go to see a movie and you’re sitting in the theatre, and for like twenty minutes, before the movie, you have to sit through commercials. Like, car commercials, soda commercials and condescending advertisements belittling you because you didn’t buy your tickets online! Fuck these people with a LAWN GNOME! I am so sick of being stuck somewhere, watching some bitch of a commercial for some crap I don’t like! And it doesn’t end at the theatre! It’s in your computer! No matter what you want to watch, you have to sit through some idiotic commercial beforehand! Want to watch it short? Sorry. You need to sit through a super powerful ad-adhesive ad. Want to catch a news clip? Hold on there. There’s a new dog shit remover you need to know about! It continues to go on and on and on, and before you know it, you won’t be able to open up your front door without an ad painted outside your sidewalk! I don’t go outside, so I’m fine with that. I’m just saying. Advertising has become a necessary evil to a certain extent. It ups pay of certain things and enables folks to maintain certain aspects of the business. However, when I go to a movie theatre and I’m already paying twenty dollars for a movie ticket, why the fuck do I have to sit through commercials?! What are they paying you for?! The popcorn?! Oh, sorry. That’s, like, eight dollars! Maybe the ads cover my soda. Wait, no... Four fifty! Maybe, just maybe, I’ll get a commemorative trinket from the movie I just saw. Ohh, no! That’s gonna be thirty-five dollars! So, what it looks like to me here is pre-rolled advertising in movie theatres don’t really pay for anything. I get no discount, no free candy, no cookies, not even a fucking taco crumb! I get SHIT! All I get is bombarded with crap, insulted by morons and taken advantage of by paper-pushing cocksuckers! This is life and it fucking sucks! Stand by for a message from our sponsors.

A commercial for an ice pack with an ice thorn on it is shown.

Foamy: Kill Yourself Cold! The new ice-pack to put on your head and implales you! Enjoy, fuckers! Ugh!

The ending screen appears.

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