Foamy: Women. I implore you. Stop deceiving men! Seriously! And I know some of you out there are like, "Huh? I don't deceive anyone! I'm nice and sweet and everyone likes me." LIES! Lies! I don't know if you women even realize this, but every day you go through a lot of trouble just to deceive men. It's like, you wake up in the morning, put on a pound of make-up, strap on that push-up bra to make your boobs seem all perky, extend your lashes, add hair extensions, rosy up those cheeks, wear contacts to change your eye color, dye your hair, shave your legs, armpits, some of you your face, and so on. Folks, if you have to do this much up-keep to hide your true appearence, you're not that attractive in the first place. Accept it! Now, here's where the deceitful part comes in. Now that you've gussied yourself up to look like a New York/Asia hooker, where do you go from there? I mean, sure, your looks initially attract some guy, and you get into a relationship and eventually get married, all the while, keeping up appearences. Then, one day, the guy wakes up in the morning, rolls over, looks at you without your make-up on, and says, "Who the hell are you!? I don't know you! I don't know you at all!" Ugly! So now this guy sees you in all your "natural glory." No make-up to cover up that wart on your cheek, no push-up bra to laggen those saggy boobs that are merely a B cup, and not a DD that push-up bra lead him to believe. Now, to him, your boobs are merely sagging flesh bags that are utterly repulsive. Then the guy gets on your case, about "letting yourself go," when actually, you're just looking the way nature intended, which makes you feel even worse about yourself. So you go out and buy that age-defying teen hooker make-up and apply and reapply until you finally look like some sort of Cosmo rendition of a female Joker. Ladies, I know the whole make-up thing is there to make you look attractive, but seriously, the facade has to come down one day. And guys and other women will see you as you really are. Wouldn't it be better to just be yourself all the time, rather than, you know, hide your flaws under powder and lipstick? I think so. No one likes to be disappointed. So, you know, just be yourself all the time and people will know what to expect, and therefore, you will never disappoint. Squirrels are so wise! Oh yeah!
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